Over the years I've gotten to know quite a few people who belong to the organized religion of In-N-Out. No other burger ever measures up, no matter how good it is. If it doesn't come in an In-N-Out wrapper, it's second-rate. To even consider another burger on the same level is blasphemous.
About a year ago - I got word of a different burger religion. Perhaps you could even call it a fast-food religious revival. Utah was now home to Five Guys Burgers & Fries. I was confused. Which church should I, oops, I mean, which burger should I eat?Before joining a religion, it is wise to list the pros and cons of each...
In-N-Out pros: Great hamburgers. Cheap prices. Those are honestly the only 2 pros I can think of. In-N-Out cons: Their fries are no good. Anyone who says their fries are "the best" is a liar. They don't have any locations North of St. George. I realize this will change soon, but for now it's a con. And now the worst con of all,the "insider" language! It bugs me so bad! Why can't they just put all the "styles" on the menu? How am I to know what animal style is if I've never been told? What other styles are there that I don't know about? All the secrecy is lame, and it inflates the "insiders" (aka idol worshippers) egos to unbearable levels.
Five Guys pros: Great hamburgers. And the prices are pretty cheap if you order the right thing (hint - the little hamburger isn't little). And they offer free peanuts. And not only are the fries better, a small order could feed a family of 8. And they offer fry sauce (probably only in Utah). Five guys cons: It probably costs a dollar more than In-N-Out. That's about the only con I can think of.
To appease Cheeseboy and honor my grandfather on this Memorial Day - I will make mention of one more burger joint.... Crown Burger. Crown Burger was my grandpa's favorite, is my brother's favorite, and continues to be a family favorite. But comparing Crown Burger to the other two restaurants mentioned above is comparing apples and oranges. First of all, Crown Burger offers much more than burgers and fries. The fact you can order fried chicken and a salad puts Crown Burger in an entirely different category. And the fact there are so many Crown Burger copy cats forces me to draw the line somewhere. What's next? Comparing Apollo Burgers?
So bring it on In-And-Out. It'll be nice to have you here. And while I'll shudder every time I hear someone say "Animal Style," "2x4," or any other insider term that is only learned at one of your cult meetings, I'll be glad you're here and welcome you with open arms - if it means shorter lines at Five Guys.
The debate is over. Five Guys is the one and only true hamburger.
9 comments:
I've never been to In-n-Out Burger, but we love Five Guys! There is a new place by Chili's in Centerville that is supposed to be really good too but I can't remember the name. You'll have to go there and compare them with Five Guys.
I love burgers!
+1 for in and out - they put bible scripture references printed on their food packaging, hidden discretely so only the true in and out fans know. (You probably didn't know that, did you?)
Also, In and Out generally has nicer facilities than 5 guys, I mean, would it kill 5 guys to install booths? As a large person, I don't like squeezing between other large persons chairs and brushing up against their backs while trying to get up and grab a drink or napkins. Its like a zoo in there, chairs everywhere, peanuts on the ground, bags of potatoes? Not awesome.
And In-and-Out's fries are the same thing as 5 guys, both cut fresh potatoes on site, so you can't really say one is better than the other. One is messyer than the other - 5 guys - con.
Is all of this animosity because you didn't know what animal style meant? You could have asked a long time ago and been in the club.
Hey, sorry we couldn't hang out this weekend, out thing Saturday night went long, and we had to leave Monday.
Here's your road map to the secret combinations at In-n-Out.
http://www.944.com/articles/the-secret-language-of-in-n-out-burger-pickles-chiles-and-the-flying-dutchman/
"Beware of secret combinations"
Curtis - Good points. Any restaurant would be better served with booths.
The peanut situation - people don't throw their shells on the floor like at Texas Roadhouse or Lonestar, so it is not circus like at all.
However - I must wholeheartedly disagree when you say their fries are the same. Five guys are much thicker - almost tater babyish, if you will.
5 Guys calling their single patty burgers "little" is about as accurate as the "mini" shake from Jake's Over The Top.
I find Five Guy's burgers to only be so-so, but the fries (with the Cajun powder) are likely the best in town.
Had a Ruby Tuesdays Triple Prime Cheddar burger yesterday and it was the best hamburger I've ever had in my life.
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